Climbing Shit

     I've lived in Montana for eighteen years now and so I think I am of the authority to say that Montana is a pretty unique state. For one... we are the fourth largest state and one of the most commonly forgotten about states. Maybe there should be a geography and vision test at the same time because if your excuse is you didn't see Montana on the map then I think you need some glasses.
    There are about one million people in Montana and the majority of these people live in the Missoula, Bozeman or Billings area. Pretty much everywhere else are men talking to cows and tumbleweed. However, there is one thing people in Montana have in common: we like to climb shit.
     I honestly don't know what the fascination is with climbing shit in Montana, but we frickin' love it. If you are ever in a town in Montana, look for a giant M on a hill (what most people would consider a Mountain else where but I digress). If there isn't an M, look for the first letter of the town you are in. I promise you that 95% of the time you will find a letter on a mountain. This is about the closest you get to a monument in Montana other than the Virgin Mary in Butte. So what's the one thing all of these letters and Jesus' mom have in common? We like to climb to them. All the time. It is a common pass time to go "climb the M" or "L" in Missoula (yeah we have two letters... we're kind of a big deal). At one point we had a peace sign that people climbed to and when they got rid of it people flipped. In Montana, we take climbing shit seriously.
     Now I also live part time in Bozeman (yeah... they have an M). However, the shit we climb in Bozeman is a little more diverse than letters on the face of a Mountain. In Bozeman we like to climb buildings and cars downtown too. I cannot count the number of times I have been just hanging out with friends, having a good ol' normal time and someone (usually the same guy) says, "Hey guys, wanna go climb shit?" Now instead of responding like responsible adults who would say, "Same dude who always suggests climbing shit, that is not necessarily the safest way to pass our time. Perhaps we could watch Fraser and learn something." No. We get pumped and go climb shit. We climb on cars, we climb on buildings and our primal monkey takes over. Downtown Bozeman at night is like a jungle with crazed monkeys climbing shit.
     The best moment of my life is when my best friend and I were driving home and I was telling her about the giant "Kick Ass" sign on a sky-scraper as you enter Manhattan in New York City. I was describing the massive size of this poster and said, "it would be like a giant "Kick Ass" sign on that mountain (hill)." And her response, "if we build a giant "Kick Ass" sign on a mountain, we would finish building it and people would be lined up ready to climb it." Nothing has ever been more true. In Montana, we build monuments and then we climb them. We frickin' love to climb shit.