Sitting On The Outside of "Boy Talk"

A few weeks ago my friend asked me if I wanted to come to a party with her and hang out before the summer was completely over. I of course said yes and joined her at some guy's birthday party, or going away party. I don't remember which it was. The party was fairly entertaining however, after some time we decided that we just wanted to head back to her boyfriend's house and hang out.

We arrived to my friend's boyfriend's house, and even though he had been following my friend for some time, he didn't arrive until 40 minutes after us. He then presumed to tell us this elaborate story about stopping at a house to stop a fight but originally he was going to get his backpack. We asked why he felt the need to stay and stop a fight and it was apparently because, "some guy was talking shit about Dave." (Aside: don't forget about Dave... he becomes an intricate part of the story.)

After the discussion of the backpack and the fight (which never really did make sense in our heads) we began just hanging out and my friends started to make some food. We were quickly interrupted by my friend's boyfriend's roommates coming in absolutely furious about the guy who was talking shit about Dave. This was where I noticed a magnificent phenomenon: when boys begin talking about their bros and people who talk shit about their bros, girls no longer exist in their lives.

The boys continued talking while off to the side my friend was talking to her boyfriend whom she had just accidentally hit in his manhood. He seemed to be in quite a bit of pain and was really making sure she knew he was in pain, however once someone walked into the house and said that one of their friends was jumped by a group of kids from the party, he sprung into action as though no ailment had ever come over his body ready to defend Dave and the other guys honor.

There were about five guys in the house at this moment and constantly they would go back to the conversation of, "I can't believe someone would try to mess with Dave." At this moment I decided to turn to my friend and ask her who the hell Dave was because I had never heard of him before in my life. She told me he was apparently one of their close friends who was leaving town... oh yeah, it was a going away party... but she had only heard of his existence three days previously. Neither one of us ever met Dave.

For the rest of the night, the boys paced around the house discussing Dave and the jerks who tried to ruin his going away party. Any time they spoke to my friend and I it was about Dave and how it is so important to defend your friends when someone talks trash.

This brings me to my point of the story. Why on Earth do boys a) solve their problems by fighting and b) think that a girl is going to think that it is attractive for him fight for the honor of some mysterious guy named Dave. Some girls may find it attractive when guys fight, but none of the ones I've ever met. Sitting on the outside of Boy Talk though is possibly the last thing a girl should do. We don't need to know how they tick and especially when the way they tick makes them look like a dick.