Saturday, May 28, 2011

The Guys Who Pronounce It Douché

     During my first semester in college, I discovered a specific breed of college goer whom I like to call "The Guys Who Pronounce It Douché". So who is the guy who pronounces it douché? This is the name I have given to that uber pretentious guy that is in at least one of your classes. For me it was intro to film.
     Spotting the guy who pronounces it douché is honestly quite easy. He usually tries to make himself look like he just rolled out of bed,

and after an hour and a half of tugging and teasing he'll spend another two hours trying to look like he just picked up the first twelve things that were lying on the floor and layered them in a haphazard manner.

He also probably wears non-prescription glasses because they make him seem intellectual and picked up smoking within the first week of school to make himself seem like much more than an intellectual.

Now he's an intellectual bad boy that reeks of tobacco and whatever shitty cologne he stole from his dad before heading to college. The Guy Who Pronounces It Douché usually also has one or two friends who are about two steps away from being Guys Who Pronounce It Douché, but they aren't quite there yet and are still able to have real conversations without sounding like a complete douche (and that is douche... not douché).

Oh, and don't forget the tattoo of Moliere on his bicep... classic.

     So what is there to be done about The Guy Who Pronounces It Douché? Not much. I think awareness is really important. So the purpose of this post is mostly to spread the word about The Guys Who Pronounce It Douché. Don't be fooled. They're hiding in your classes, they're playing shitty acoustic guitar in your University Center, and they're growing at a rapid amount. Beware.

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